Preliminary reports are trickling in from the Lincoln Center area of Peter Gelb using a urinal in a men’s room. Witnesses report halfway through his famed and intricate hand washing ritual, Gelb experienced a change of heart amidst intense internet criticsm and then entered a stall for several hours. More on this story as… [Read More]
SANTORUM OVERJOYED TO LEARN JIM J BULLOCK NOT IN FACT DEAD, BUT HEARTBROKEN BULLOCK STILL WILL NOT WORK WITH HIM
Rick Santorum called a press conference on the Grand Tier Lobby Level of the Metropolitan Opera today for an announcement of what his press secretary, Randy, described as “Titanic Proportions.” “First, I know there has been some outcry over my cancellation of Manon with Anna Netrebko but know that she will be back next year… [Read More]
RICK SANTORUM TAKES OVER AS GENERAL MANAGER OF THE METROPOLITAN OPERA
Largo al Santorum After James Levine’s health problems and Peter Gelb’s upcoming tragic accident in an abandoned pool, a power vacuum has been left at the Metropolitan Opera. Rick Santorum has stepped in to fill the vacuum as new General Manager of the Metropolitan Opera. “We’re shocked to get him. That he was available… [Read More]
