The REAL Meaning of Fashion’s Night Out

On a recent tour of the Manhattan Gay leather bar scene I was introduced to the Handkerchief Code.   Well I was introduced to a bunch of interesting and thought provoking stuff which will be the subject of later posts, but the Hanky Code is what I am going to discuss here.  The Hanky Code, also known as the Bandana Code and Flagging, was introduced in the 1970’s, possibly spurned on by an off hand remark made by a Village Voice reporter, and was an offshoot of the old male gay code of wearing one’s keys sticking out of one’s jeans back pocket as a signal of their amorous desires and intentions.   Keys out on the left a “Bottom”, keys out on right a “Top”.  This became far far more elaborate with the introduction of handkerchiefs color coordinated to indicate various sexual offshoots.  It started with the male gay scene, quickly spread into the Leather and BDSM scenes but variations of it were picked up by most of the sexual underworld.


The creation of a code of this kind seems fairly obvious and self-explanatory to me.  Since you can’t really wear a t-shirt that says, “Hi!  I like receiving oral sex while dressed as a nun and drinking my own urine,” (If only. –sigh-) it makes sense that a code and symbology would be created to express such desires and find others with similar interests.  
Although it started as handkerchiefs worn hanging out of the back pockets it quickly expanded to handkerchiefs or short scarves worn around the neck.  So scarves worn knotted on left indicate a Bottom, knotted on right indicate a Top.  (And knotted in middle, I’m assuming, a Switch?)  The color and pattern coding has evolved into an almost ludicrously complex and intricate system encompassing every possible variation on every “deviant” sex act one could imagine and many I hadn’t.  (Which is saying a lot.)  For example, wearing an ACTUAL doily (NOT a bandana with a doily pattern) indicates a preference for sex in public restrooms or a camouflage bandana or scarf indicates a preference for sex outdoors in the country.  Follow me?

So let’s try to be a bit more aware of the messages we could be sending.  
That stylish and beautiful Emilio Pucci ‘Farfala’ Silk Twill Scarf for $330 could be sending the unintended message that you are or are looking for a foot fetishist. 

That classic Hermes red, navy and gold vintage Silk Twill Boucles et gallons de Tsar scarf for $305 could say that you are a sophisticated, classy and elegant woman of the world whose husband runs a hedge fund OR it could be saying you enjoy animal roleplay and water sports (no, not Marco Polo.)

Or Emilio Pucci’s ‘Wild Winter’ Silk Scarf in fuchsia, lavender, light blue and yellow while quite lovely could also be sending the message that you are into spanking, armpits and cross dressing.  
Just something to think about. 

I’m not even going to start in on the possible double meaning of New York sports team’s bandanas and flags.  Just beware, waving a blue, red, white and grey Giants bandana could indicate your team allegiance but it could also indicate an interest in safe anal sex, bondage and, yes, fisting. 

Holy cow.  Giants fans, my kind of people.



-Shawn E Milnes


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