1. The use of a hairdryer is a vital aesthetic and artistic statement.2. Tosca, the story of a happy go lucky baron with a heart of gold and a user friendly SM/Leather fetish, ends after the second act.
3. Don Giovanni is a love story and somehow being dragged bodily to hell is a victory.
4. Hunchbacked dwarves are 6 foot 4. (And use hairdryers)
5. Facial hair is a constantly shifting paradigm.
6. Not speaking for days on end is normal.
7. Wearing a scarf indoors is equally normal.
8. The phrase “Vocal Folds” is both erotic and sacred. And discussing the state of one’s “folds” at the breakfast table is both an ordinary and daily occurrence.
9. Frilly shirts aren’t just seasonal.
10. Dinner is served at 5pm and again at 11:30pm.11. Having the household humidity at 85% is typical.
12. All babysitters are either pianists or young gay tenors from Cincinnati.
13. Sex Sells. (Oh, that’s actually true. Sorry)
More as they crop up and ruin my life…
-Shawn E Milnes
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