Actor Jim J Bullock was unavailable for comment after the fictional character he played for 4 years from 1983-1987 on Too Close For Comfort publicly repudiated the actor at a hastily called press conference in an abandoned pool near Tarzana CA. Not since TJ Hooker publicly burned William Shatner’s wig on television in 1992 has a 1980’s fictional television character attacked their proxy with such ire.
 |
| Actor Jim J Bullock |
 |
| Monroe Ficus |
“Forget that jerk Bullock,” Ficus told the small crowd of balloon animals in a meandering and vitriol laden statement. “He’s a clown. I was completely wasted on him. Do you assholes realize I was the first male sitcom character to be raped on television? I’d like to see what a Pacino or Hoffman could do with me. Dustin OR Phillip Seymour. I’m a rich vein. A treasure trove that coiffed dandy Bullock could never begin to mine. A treasure trove of artistic riches. Deep, textured and nuanced. Full of contradiction and indignant sexuality forged in the crucible of Ted Knight’s fevered, brilliant, throbbing mind.” The character continued, figurative saliva flying from his imaginary mouth, “Do NOT fuck with me.”
Calls to Bullock were unreturned.
-Shawn E Milnes
Related Articles:
Leave a Reply